The Common Feeling of Disconnection

A friend brought up an interesting point tonight. Although we are both extremely similar in most cases, this includes various problems and alike we suffer  though, we each feel quite alone in our lives as we walk down similar paths. Though we both should feel connected to one another by our mirrored experiences, there is a profound sense of 'disconnect' with ourselves, and the rest of the world.

I do not mean to insinuate that this is a unique perspective. Rather, I think it is a very human condition. Each person, I believe, in their various lives seek that idea of a harmonious connection. Either through relationships, religion, or general exploration, there is a driving force in all mankind that pushes us to seek a 'complete' form of existence.

As it is, in some sense, we all feel small and alone. That is why, I believe, some people fear to be alone, or in quiet places. When given time to reflect, the enormity of existence, and the fragility of our place in it, life can be overwhelming. I am not saying that is what people think about in exact terms, but it comes out about the same. It is difficult to overcome that sense of 'separation' we have as single living entities, though it is what we desire.

We all value individuality, but when faced by the loneliness of its nature, people try to conform into a similar environment with one another to cope. This of course, is not a solution. As my friend and I discussed, even when traveling towards the same destination, one will always feel he is on a separate road. The best solution I have at the moment, is to look for the 'small moments.'

The connection that we seek does exist, that's what I believe, but its like gossamer lace, and hard to comprehend. It exists in those brief windows, those moments in the present where nothing else seems to exist but the now. To stay continually in that state is what a Buddhist would call 'enlightenment,' though I am not Buddhist, nor anywhere near what one would call enlightened, the moments do come upon me sometimes and sudden, and so I understand its value. It is what, I think, has kept me in the realm of sanity for some time.

The constant disconnectedness that I have felt, has never eased when my mind was either in the past or in the future, but when I managed to live in the present, to let myself 'be' for awhile I found a sort of peace. I believe God is in those moments, and it helps to lift a little weight off my shoulders. In this lonely universe, those moments are to me, are the most precious. I only hope my friend can feel them too.